SOMETHING WITHIN

The dimly lit bar was unusually empty that night and to think that the following day was a Saturday added to my surprise. It was about 4:30pm at the time I entered the bar and even though I was surprised it was empty, I still had a flicker of hope – maybe and just maybe, the familiar faces that filled the bar every Friday night would soon appear and bring everything to life. I checked my phone to see if I had missed a call but surprisingly, none of my friends had called. What was happening? I found myself asking aloud. Earlier in the week, we had planned to meet at the Midnight Bar after work to unwind. The week, having been hectic for all four of us, we thought a night-out on Friday at our favourite bar wouldn’t be a bad idea. I dialled Akwasi’s number and waited for the call to connect. It didn’t. I tried again and the result remained the same. So I called Kasper. The call connected but his line was very faint and I couldn’t hear him. I cut the call deliberately and dialled his number once again hoping to hear him more clearly.

‘Hello, hello! I shouted into the phone and promptly heard a repeat of the same words at the other end of the line. It was harsh and sounded very angry.

Hello, hello!  The voice went.

‘Kasper? I asked the voice at the other end of the line.

Kasper? I heard the voice repeat.

It took about five seconds for me to realise I was hearing no one but myself. Annoyed, I sighed heavily and cut the call.

‘Network problems, network problems…’ I muttered between clenched teeth. 
My temper began to rise as I looked hard at the phone. I was annoyed that it could not connect me with my friends. The mere sight of it then became extremely repelling and as it lay uselessly in my palm, it looked so repulsive that I felt like throwing it down and shattering it into a thousand pieces. Suddenly, it moved slightly on its own accord and fell from my hands. It didn’t break. I picked it up almost immediately, and then turned round hoping to catch the sight of any familiar face. But seeing no one, I walked silently to our favourite spot inside the bar. I sat there for a while, my eyes searching the empty bar without any purpose. I stared hard at the empty chairs and tables until they began to look like hungry monsters ready to pounce and make an end of me. But before they could do anything however, the bar attendant dropped one of the drinking glasses and smashed it into pieces! The sound of the smashed glass startled me and I began to feel sweat beads forming on my forehead and under my armpits. Quickly, I removed my tie which had until that time been hanging loosely around my neck and asked for a bottle of beer. It was while waiting to be served that it suddenly dawned on me. I wondered why I had never thought about it.

There were about six attendants in the bar but one of them had always attended to me. I was taken aback when the realisation hit me. I had always seen the other attendants serving other customers but none of them except one ever attended to me. Somehow it seemed that particular lady had been tasked with the ‘holy’ mandate of attending to me anytime I came into the bar. I tried playing back time to see if I could remember at least one time some other attendant apart from that lady had served me. My mind went back to 24^th December the previous year; it was her I clearly remembered. On New Year’s Day, I recalled that it was that same lady who fetched our orders. I went on and on and at every point; I could remember none but her. I became a little confused. Did she know me? Had we met before? To these questions and more, my mind began searching for answers.

I thought of calling her the moment I see her so I could ask her a few questions. But what would she think? I wondered. Would she think I wanted to make advances at her? I played out the possibilities of that action and decided it was not worth it so I kicked against it. But just as I was about to remind the young man at the counter that my beer had not arrived, someone came out from behind the counter; she was holding a tray that contained a bottle of beer and a drinking glass. As she drew nearer, she smiled broadly and our eyes met momentarily; it was her. My heart skipped a beat as I waited for her to serve me. She was looking exceptionally beautiful that night; the play of light on her hair gave it some appeal every woman would crave for.

For the first time, I observed her closely and couldn’t help but wonder why I never noticed her. She had lovely dimples on both cheeks and they complemented her every smile with absolute charm. She wore a fitting red spaghetti shirt over an equally fitting black skirt. Her dark skin glittered with reflections of light in the bar and her strong perfume filled the air all around me. I noticed that her eyebrows hanging limply above her eyes did not look like eyebrows at all. They looked like thin black marks made by the sloppiness of a little child on a writing slate. They looked very funny but somehow, I could not bring myself to admit it. I was feeling like a mighty king smitten with the love of a common girl who would not dare so much as appear before him or even mention his name. This lady stood about five feet, four inches and when she began to speak, her words fell softly and tenderly on my ears. I felt dizzy.

“Good evening braa” she said as soon as she placed the aluminium tray on the table.

“H-hh-h-ello” I responded and waited for her to pour me my drink.

She did that in a matter of seconds and was about to leave the table when…

“Err…hello?” I said causing her to stop immediately. She stopped so suddenly that she almost tripped from those high-heeled shoes that seemed to have been forced onto her feet.

“Ye-es” she replied and then turned to face me.

“I was wondering if I could umm…ask you a question? I said.

A look of surprise suddenly spread across her face. She smiled shyly and nodded.

“Have we met somewhere before?

“Please no…” she said trying very hard to avoid my gaze. And then as if she had suddenly remembered something, she said rather quickly:

“Ah! But you have been coming here always? I could tell she was puzzled.

“I mean, have we met somewhere else apart from this bar?  I explained. She simply shook her head, her hair blinding her left eye momentarily in the process. There was a short silence.

“What is your name?  I asked trying to sustain the conversation. She looked at me for a while and then looked round about her as if to make sure no one was listening.

“Alema” she whispered and quickly turned to go.

I wanted to call her back but I didn’t. Instead, my eyes followed her every move until she was completely out of sight. I heaved a sigh of relief and raised my glass; it was the second time I was doing that, that night.

My phone began to ring; it rang with such intensity that I was suddenly jolted from the company of my thoughts back into reality. I snatched if from the table and then…

“Sorry…” Akwasi apologised from the other end of the line.

“But why didn’t you tell me you weren’t coming?  I asked, annoyed at his irresponsibility.

“The car broke down in the middle of heavy traffic…”

“And you couldn’t call to tell me?

“Hmm…the whole thing happened so fast we all forgot to call you…”

“Anyway, are you guys coming?  I asked to cut a long story short.

Akwasi assured me he would be there with the rest of my friends in a matter of minutes. So I waited. Soon, the bar came alive; people began trooping in and the DJ for the night had just raised the volume of the music, which was until then playing mildly in the background. I tapped my feet to the lovely sound of Congo’s Bongo Man, which had succeeded in bringing a few people to the floor. I watched them with little interest; my mind fantasising about Alema all the time. She had made an impression on me and I wasn’t going to forget. The sudden longing to see her again was so strong my heart started beating. I wanted to get to know her better. I desired her and wanted her to be mine!

Later when my friends came over, I had lost interest in everything. Their loud chatter and general liveliness failed to excite me and when it was time for us to leave, I was not prepared to go.  They insisted but I had made up my mind; I would stay and wait for Alema. One after the other, everybody left the bar and I was left alone. Some of the attendants began to collect the empty bottles and glasses from the tables and one of them had already started sweeping. The dust of bygone activity rose with every movement of her broom and gradually managed to push me out of the bar. But I didn’t leave; I stood outside waiting for that moment when she would step out.

I didn’t wait a long time. After about fifteen minutes, the door creaked open and she stepped out. The moment I saw her, I lost my sense of control, I did not notice the surprise on her face, I did not realise she was frightened; I even forgot I had barely met her. I threw myself at her and embraced her tightly. A struggle ensued and we both fell – I struggled to cling to her; she struggled to break free from my grip.

“Calm down, calm down” She said.

I struggled to regain my grip but I couldn’t; my arms and legs felt numb as I lay on the bed. I was tied to it; but how come?

“Calm down, calm down” the nurse repeated while holding me down with both arms. As she bent over me, her name card read: Rose Fynn – Accra Psychiatric Hospital.